User blog:Yyaku/Yyaku, Exposed
Yyaku, Rikkord, Bowanet, Peribot, Uob, Pymien, Kymien Whatever you may now me as today, i'd like to give everyone in this community the explanation they deserve. January 15th, 2015 is when I joined Wikia under the username 'Pymien'. Pymien had 4,953 edits and was an active account in which I had a family at that wiki. I loved everything I did for that wiki where I felt free to express art and creativity. I made tons of friends at that wiki - when I wanted to be an admin I determined myself to help make that wiki a better place. At the time I was also very young and impressionable and in an attention seeking state of my life. A user who will remain unnamed was my closest friend on the wiki and was a much older male who I trusted. We got very close and through them revealing all the misfortune in their life I felt I didn't have much to share. My dad had just been diagnosed with Cancer a few weeks prior so I told him that is what I had. I felt this way I would be able to relate to a struggle. I additionally had made an account 'Kymien' in which I pretended to be a love interest of Pymien. Both lies were caught and I was demoted from admin and banned permanently from the wiki. From there I went to several other wikis however at the end of the day no matter how many other accounts I'd make the truth would come out. People remembered me for making a sockpuppet account and lying about illness. I never found myself able to join a community without trouble. Months after anything I joined drama would arise and my past would be brought up. So when I found the Survivor fanon I thought it would be an optimal new start. Obviously a cartoon and a reality show are nothing alike. I met a lot of you guys and was fond of the relationships I made here. I was very insecure with sexuality at the time so I felt it was best to hide the fact i'm a boy so I could express interest in boys without the anxiety. I felt comfortable going over the pseudonym Aishia. I felt it was the internet so I could be whatever I wanted to be. Years went by and I realized I had totally created a fake life for myself to the people I felt closest too. I realized there was no way to undo this misconception so I just kept running with it. I am not a black woman sorry to burst your bubble guys. Anyway, around the time I was still fairly new to the community DORG came around into my life. I had never heard of one of these before so I felt i'd go in with two accounts to strengthen my chances. This was before I was close with anyone here really so I felt it could not hurt in the slightest. Of course I made one more a joke character (Kiki) and got myself early. After the season was over I realized a lot of people like Bowanet and so I ran with it. I decided to keep her around as a person. That was probably my biggest mistake as when the next season came around and I was hosting - I decided to play her. I am a person who likes having things go my way. So I tampered with the season. It's not my proudest moments and I am full-heartedly sorry to everyone who participated in that season and most importantly to my best friend Dan for ruining your seasons integrity. While I had Bowanet as a completely separate entity I found myself too far in the lie so I just made Bowanet inactive and hope to just cover it up let her go and try and never talk about it again. However I didn't stop for too much longer and continued doing it. Continued cheating the game in different ways and ultimately fucked up the integrity of every season I touched. I don't really have any reason for it. I know it's messed up and i'm sorry. I am a liar and can't play fair. I cheat myself. I apologize to everyone affected by my actions i've done. I do not want to make excuses for myself or deem myself redeemable in anyway because it's not okay. I hurt DORG, I hurt BBFanon, and I hurt you guys. I'm sorry I lead you all under a lie for so long. I am sorry you didn't get to know Yyaku and you got to know a fake persona. I'm sorry you didn't get to play in fair seasons but more importantly i'm sorry I broke your guys trust. I am excusing myself from this community and departing from playing any future ORGS. I have deactivated Bowanet and want to just say it's been a pleasure getting to know you guys. Wikia has been a big part of my life however my lies have gotten the best of me time and time again. I wish I hadn't done my actions and wish I could repair the damage I did however what's done has been done. Thank you Tozza, A2, and Jacob for uncovering this information about my past because it needed to be shared and there was no way I would've done this without you guys uncovering it. With that being said and my 'mark' being left on this wikis history i'd like to give a few parting word to my three year legacy being here. Dan is a really great guy and I think the only person at this wiki I have ever felt really close with. LoaTT is extremely funny and I genuinely bonded with you. Bryce you were great to co-run a wiki with. Zeebem you are an insanely cool dude. JTS I loved being your friend. Tozza you are a cool person and I appreciated getting to know you. Uke I love your personality and thank you for being there for me. XMCL, You are a good friend of mine and I loved the times we had together. Greg, you are funny as fuck. Ok, I'll be signing out now. I'm not going to stick around for the backlash because once a coward always a coward I guess. I just want you guys to know I did enjoy my time here and its really painful to flush 3 years of my life down the drain. All the chat survivors, all the blogs, all the deleted fanons, all the late talks. I did a lot in this community and leaving it might be the hardest thing I have to do, but I can't stick around and deal with the actions i've done. Thanks for understanding and you have every right to be mad at me but please do not go as far to seek me out on other platforms to give me backlash. Ok, I've said everything I needed :(